Vroom Noise
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I decided to do a few things to my car for the upcoming race season. Read the rest of this entry »
OffRoadin
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Since it’s finally snowed here, I’ve been going out looking for awesome places to offroad in Fresh Panzer.
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How to do a Demo
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Here are a few simple steps that I’ve learned over the years on how give a successful product demo.
1) Be sure to talk to the screen. The screen is your audience. Fuck the people. Well, don’t fuck the people (until step 4).
2) NEVER TEST. If you’re going to show off something you’ve built. Such as a cannon, perhaps. Don’t bother testing it. How hard is that shit?? Explosives go in one end of the tube. Sharp things go in next. Light a match. BOOM! Freedom. It’s not like its going to explode in your hands taking your arm off at the shoulder or anything. Pussy.
3) If you screw up be sure to sweat. A LOT. Sweat is the lubricant of a successful presentation. You don’t want your demo to overheat and sieze up.
4) Fuck the audience. They’ll love you for it. All night long.
5) Reference the cloud. That shit is the future. THE FUTURE.
6) When you’re asked about the price – make it a shitload of money. Its worth it – you’re solid gold. Just look at your suit. Gold threads, gold tie, gold watch, gold boots. GOLD.
Dr. Badass
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This is so fucking badass:
You fucking WISH you were me
Also there is this video: How to drive a 911 through a lake.
Lawman
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I’m really pumped about this new show Lawman that just came out. It stars the one and only Steven Seagal as himself – only now that he isn’t acting, he’s gone out and joined The Police. Not like the “Roxanne” Police, but the actual, “I’m a cop you idiot”, Police.
This show is a “reality” show about him going doing his day to day cop stuff. I quoted “reality” because I can’t think of anything more surreal than being pulled over for being naughty by actual Steven Seagal. It’s so meta that as I write this I can feel my brain expanding and my soul levitating above me to watch myself type this out. Somewhere in spacetime Rene Descarte is channeling Keanu: “woooooooaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh duuuuuuuuuude bro”
I haven’t seen it yet, but I yearn for someone to argue a parking ticket with him only for him to respond in a monitone voice “I’m the Lawman” before hurling them through the windshield of their own car using his slow-motion Judo chops.
FCDCC – Rules Update!
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After some long deliberation we’re narrowing in on some rules for FCDCC and they are as follows
- Device must fit within a 1 metre cube. It can operate outside of that cube, but it at rest it must fit within this box.
- Golf balls for payload
- Glue must be able to be purchased at home depot. Nothing made out of moon rocks
- Payload distance will be measured from the first point it touches the ground
- Device must be stationary at the time of launch. It can move as a result of launching the projectile but it cannot take a run at it.
- Device will be operated from the ground. No 100ft tall platforms Falkenbe >:(
Don’t forget this is happening on Canada Day so if you want to participate, get going! It’s going to be complicated.
Funbarn Canada Day Catapult Competition (FCDCC)
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After the hugely successful FbBoFYPBBCaR! I have been inundated with literally (actually) one single request to do something totally boss and ultra-rad for the next Funbarn ridiculous engineering contest. The original idea was proposed by team That’s a Huge Bitch, but basically involved building a bridge. I think he just wanted to win and then gloat again. I figured that it was just a bit too close to FbBoFYPBBCaR! to have another bridge building contest but not too close to have another ridiculous AWESOMEfest. With that in mind I present to you:
The Funbarn Canada Day Catapult Competition (FCDCC)!
Since all of the teams that participated in FbBoFYPBBCaR! have a huge amount of popsicle sticks left, the materials list for FCDCC is as such:
- Popsicle Sticks
- Glue
- String
- Straws
- Elastic Bands
Again we will have teams of 2 max competing within a price limit of $33.33 to build some kind of launching device that will launch a payload some distance. I’m open to suggestions on rules and restrictions and perhaps standardizing a payload.
The contest will conclude on Canada day, 2009 and winners will be judged in the following categories:
- Coolest Team Name
- Distance and/or Height
- Accuracy
- Power to Weight (Ariel Atom Honurary Cup)
- Craziness of Design (Tim the Tool Man Royal Pine Medallion)
- Glitterocity (Dixie Cup)
Prize for 1st place in the main event will be an ice cream sammich. Comment here or drop me an email to register your team if you have suggestions for a rules.