Darts on TV
Posted by Admin | Filed under Posts
Darts as a sport is bullshit.
Beepy Thingy
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You know when you’re leaving a grocery store or scented candle store and the beepy thingy goes off when you walk out the door?
OffRoadin
Posted by Admin | Filed under Posts
Since it’s finally snowed here, I’ve been going out looking for awesome places to offroad in Fresh Panzer.
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Shoe Boss
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I have a new boss at work. He’s a cool dude. I ran into him in the hallway just now.
Me: Hey man.
Him: Where the fuck are your shoes?
Me: What if there is a fire?
Him: What? What the fuck does that have to do with your shoes?
Me: It’s motivating!
Him: What? What the fuck are you talking about?
Me: Exactly. See you later!
~~fin~~
Military Precision
Posted by Admin | Filed under Posts
We have a new network guy here at work. He’s ex-military and is excellent at his job – motivated, knowledgeable, and ready for ACTION. He is also completely devoid of any and all humour.
Michael Ironside busting a gut at the freshest momma joke ever
The other day he was here looking at some network stats and I made 5 or 6 quality jokes about packet loss, blitzkrieg, statistics, Steven Seagal, and all manner of things that should be high on the comedy scale of someone that was trained to kill.
Nothing. No reaction at all.
My office mate was laughing his ass off but not this guy. Desperate, I threw one more Hail Mary pass. There it was – I saw him flinch. For a brief second his face twisted into what it must look like when Michael Ironside stubs his toe. A small, microsecond long, blip of disdain. His top lip curled up and instantly snapped back down like a bear trap on the big hairy leg of comedy.
Oh shit, I thought, this guy is going to fucking shoot me.
Luckily his focus immediately returned and he was once again fully engrossed in a chart. I was spared. He’s like a race horse with blinders on, completely oblivious to anything that isn’t directly related to Serious Business and Network Statistics. I could have been pairs figure skating with naked Vendella in a chocolate fountain while juggling chainsaws and this dude wouldn’t have been distracted in the slightest.
Maybe next time I’ll just shake his hand for a half a second too long and wink. They love that kind of thing in the army.