Posted by Admin | Filed under Posts
Today we had a department meet and greet for my company. It was the usual get to know your new co-workers team building stuff. That means games.
Exciting games such as the classic “break into small groups and name 5 things that you all have in common” game. Or the even more exciting “break into small groups and name something unique to each of you” game.
There were about 50 of us in the room, broken into groups of 8 or 9 people and after the second game, each person had to announce to the room what they said was unique about them in the group that they were in. It was fairly standard stuff:
“I’m an accountant”; “I play piano”; “I speak Spanish”; “I was in jail”; “I own a cat named buckles”.
Until we got to one guy who stated very matter-0f-factly:
“I have a Vintage Porn collection”
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahaa oh really?
Everyone was laughing except for him, until one of the ladies leaned over and whispered to him and he exclaimed:
“PORT!! VINTAGE PORT!! I HAVE A LOT OF OLD BOTTLES OF PORT!!”
Suuuuuuuuuure you do.
But that lead me to wonder. What vintage does porn have to be to be considered Vintage Porn? Like 80s Porn? The shoulder pads and big hair days? 70s Porn? With pube sideburns and fly ass bell bottoms? Older than that?
Maybe Vintage means it’s so old you have to accompany it by playing your own piano.
But then how would you masturbate AND keep the (heh) beat?
I bet that’s why the player piano was invented. In it’s day the player piano was the pinacle of luxury porn watching.
Porn invents everything.