Timstalk
Posted by Admin | Filed under Tim
Tim
I don’t think i know anyone who drinks tea at Tim Horton’s
Vladmir
I do
Tim
but wait I thought you said you weren’t the person posting about me
um, in the responses to your blog posts
Vladmir
I’m not
Tim
bah well it’s not me
is it Someguy?
I think your blog has limited readership
Vladmir
that might be
Tim
so it is Someguy?
Vladmir
it might have been
Tim
I don’t think Someguy knows me…
sure, we were probably in CS at the same time for a couple years… like you and I…
but even though I won the 2003 or 2004 or w/e starcraft tournament, you didn’t remember me
also i’m reasonably sure i had that on my resume when I applied to bioware
Vladmir
I wondered why you had that mug made
the one that says “2003 or 2004 or w/e Starcraft tournament champion”
Tim
2004-04-08
although for some reason i thought it was in 2003…
I did go to a few of the lan parties, but only one of them had a starcraft tournament
Vladmir
I went to one LAN party.
I remember thinking
who the fuck are all these nerds
How to do a Demo
Posted by Admin | Filed under Posts
Here are a few simple steps that I’ve learned over the years on how give a successful product demo.
1) Be sure to talk to the screen. The screen is your audience. Fuck the people. Well, don’t fuck the people (until step 4).
2) NEVER TEST. If you’re going to show off something you’ve built. Such as a cannon, perhaps. Don’t bother testing it. How hard is that shit?? Explosives go in one end of the tube. Sharp things go in next. Light a match. BOOM! Freedom. It’s not like its going to explode in your hands taking your arm off at the shoulder or anything. Pussy.
3) If you screw up be sure to sweat. A LOT. Sweat is the lubricant of a successful presentation. You don’t want your demo to overheat and sieze up.
4) Fuck the audience. They’ll love you for it. All night long.
5) Reference the cloud. That shit is the future. THE FUTURE.
6) When you’re asked about the price – make it a shitload of money. Its worth it – you’re solid gold. Just look at your suit. Gold threads, gold tie, gold watch, gold boots. GOLD.
Tea at Starbucks
Posted by Admin | Filed under Posts
Every time I order a tea at Starbucks it goes a little something like this:
me: Tea.
guy: What kind?
me: Orange Pekoe.
guy: Uh… you mean Wake Up (TM)
me: What the fuck is Wake Up?
guy: Black tea.
me: Jesus Christ. Fine. Ya that one.
guy: Venti????
me: You mother fucker >:(
Remembrances
Posted by Admin | Filed under Tim
Tim:
Remember those days?
Vladmir:
yaw
good times
Tim:
Those days were today!
Vladmir:
I remember today well
…
like it was yesterday
only
it was today
Heli-Lazer Point-Copter
Posted by Admin | Filed under Posts
I got this totally awesome remote control helicopter for Christmas this year. It’s just a little guy but it’s SO COOL and it makes this noise: whirr.
I also got a LAZER (laser) pointer for my dog to chase around, and thus I had this brilliant idea: Helicopter + LAZER = So much Awesome! However:
- the LAZER pointer was too heavy for the little helicopter to lift and…
- Daisy couldn’t give two shits about a little red dot on the ground
As soon as I turned it on, she glanced at it.
Looked at me.
Sighed loudly, and walked away.
Damn you dog! Chase IT!
I don’t get it – my brother’s dog goes crazy for his, leaping around from couch to couch like a coke addicted silver back.
My dog? Totally disinterested.
Like I should be so brazen to think that something as pedestrian as a LAZER TECHNOLOGY would impress her.
>:(
Flowers For Mom
Posted by Admin | Filed under Posts
It was my mom’s birthday on January 2nd. Since she is my mom and means very much to me, I wanted to get her something extra special and from the heart:
That was, of course, flowers from a gas station.
It’s become a tradition now – whenever it’s mother’s day or a birthday or some other kind of present giving occasion for mom, I stop at the Petro Canada by her place and pick her up some flowers. She likes them well enough, which works out for me.
This time was like the others, I picked out a lovely gas station bouquet and lined up to have it wrapped. As I was paying, however, I noticed something about the flower guy:
Does that say?
Yep it sure does.
I was buying flowers from the Desert Fox.
Awesome.