Theories
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<Hurrbot> WHAT IF SPACE ROCKS CAUSE POT HOLES
How You Do It
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I was talking to someone the other day and the subject of doin’ it came up. So to speak. This is how you do it:
You do it like you cook a burrito.
3 minutes on HIGH
then flip over
3 minutes the other side. On HIGH
Bing, all done.
Ladies.
It’s All Greek
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<HurrBot> feta tastes like predigging your ass until you want to see it
See This Cat
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I taught this cat everything he knows
After this he immediately started a small chemical fire and then ate a hotdog. No big deal.
Media Review: Lisa from Dirty Sexy Monkey
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I started watching this show a long, long while ago called “Dirty Sexy Monkey” and initially I was intrigued by it. I like shows about the crazy adventures of crazy shiny people and the lawyer character (Nick) was a funny guy. He also had a hot wife which wasn’t so bad either.
I made it through the first season of the show but was lacksidasical in watching the second season. I’m don’t know why but something about the writing had changed for this second run. I think, perhaps, the writers of the show were looking to create more drama and the only way they could create any tension was to entangle every single character in the show in an unending spiderweb of bullshit misunderstandings that any rational or sane person could easily talk about and solve in two minutes.
Entire shows in this second season are made up of nothing but scenes where two people are talking about something meaningless, and a third person, just out of camera shot, overhears and misunderstands their conversation, which, in turn, makes them rush off to a similar clandestine conversation where they are in turn overheard but yet another person who in turn freaks the fuck out and repeats this same bullshit. This happens in every single fucking show in the second season.
To bolster this plot “device,” they have written every character at least 50 IQ points lower than the first season, save for a few. Most notably is Lisa, Nick’s Wife. She does so many stupid things in the show, I swear her writer was replaced by a horse with a carrot shaped pencil in its mouth. Every single episode she is dumber and more irrational than any human could possibly be.
I want to push her off the top rung of the biggest, highest, most rickety ladder the world has ever seen. I’d even invent new ladders. I would petition the governments of the world, and raise money for research into advancements in international ladder technology and ladder construction methods and advanced nanotechnology for ladder materials to create a ladder so big it is no longer affected by any laws of physics except for gravity. I want laser ladder targeting technology so that I can be ultimately sure she hits her head on a pointy lava rock covered in poisonous snakes, fire, and high voltage electricity.
And when she hit her head she probably would not be affected at all, because her head is filled with doorknobs that have no keys.