Dyslexia
Posted by Admin | Filed under Hurrbot
<Latigra> fuck the sun
<HurrBot> SUF THE KUN?
The Rimmer
Posted by Admin | Filed under Hurrbot
<HurrBot> :O oh hey man… uh have a good weekend :finger:
Rehab? I Said: No. No? No!
Posted by Admin | Filed under Posts
I had another weird dream last night. I don’t remember many of the details right now, nor any specific names or faces for whom may have been in it, but the one thing I distinctly remember is having a very serious conversation with someone about how I should go to rehab. They were adamant that I needed to go, and it was the only solution.
The rehab wasn’t so much for an addiction that I had, but for the horrible problem I had with high school girls being unable to leave me alone. I didn’t really think this was a problem per se, but my friends, family, and possibly a court-ordered therapist insisted that it was necessary.
I was then shipped off to get better at what may have been either a country club, or Gene Simmons’ house. There was definitely a reality TV component of the dream at this point. Dr. Drew may have been there but the salient details are sketchy. I’m pretty sure there were aging rockstars with serious addictions, black tank-tops and veins you could drive a train through, but all I really remember is wandering around thinking how absurd it was that I was in here with what didn’t seem to be a problem at all.
Doesn’t seem so bad really.
Radical
Posted by Admin | Filed under Hurrbot
<HurrBot> titular
Media Review: Japandroids – Young Hearts Spark Fire
Posted by Admin | Filed under Media Review
First off: Japandroids? Are you kidding me?
I’m sure these guys thought that they were clever and edgy with the creation of their band’s portmanteau name, but what they’ve actually done is narrowed their audience down to a set that combines the equally unwashed groups of anime lovers and starwars nerds into a big Venn diagram entitled “Virginfinity”. These guys would have to bring a pacific ocean worth of lava-hot rock sauce to get me to even marginally not hate them. That is so long as I don’t ever see them wearing skinny jeans.
Right, here we go… PLAY!
Ugh. These guys sound exactly like what I sounded like before I learned how to play guitar on a Mexican built Fender Squire knock-off Stratocaster. Their gain is turned up way past what sounds even remotely like music on an amp that wouldn’t have passed the quality assurance inspection at any music factory that wasn’t staffed entirely with deaf people. It sounds as if it’s components are made out of aluminum foil, fish sticks, and discarded snowboard parts. Everything about the guitar in this song screams “remarkably untalented fucks”. Or as, Japandroid would call it, “Remaruntalefucks”.
I’m almost certain that the drummer has brain damage and is wafting in and out of time as he travels on his cosmic journey to a variety of different planets that may or may not contain his birth parents and beings which might think this fucking garbage sounds good. Given the band name, I picture those creatures to be multi-tentacled, pink-pantied, jizz factories with no ears, no rhythm and a national policy of putting fluorescent stripes on everything.
The vocals sound about as good as the “music” you would get by strapping an ambulance siren to a goat and locking it in a bathroom full of bees. Ugh I’m stopping this shit right here. Review over.
Conclusion: Horrifuckcrapassiful Virginifinity
Don’t ever click here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jOoHAbnhxNI
Honey, I Shrunk the Hurrbot
Posted by Admin | Filed under Hurrbot
<HurrBot> yes, Rick Moranis can sing
Delicatessen
Posted by Admin | Filed under Hurrbot
<HurrBot> oh dude you are tasty
Clowns
Posted by Admin | Filed under Posts
Why? Why in God’s name would anyone want to be a clown?
Everyone, literally EVERYONE, on planet Earth hates you.
Just try and tell me this is normal
Clowns must make a fortune. They MUST! I can’t think of a single other reason that someone would want to be a clown. The authorities should use clown school as screening for the crazy house (as I type that, I’m not sure either of those are real places, but I digress.)
No way would a sane person aspire to be a clown (and it’s not as if you see dudes in blue afros driving around in Ferraris). Maybe, macro-economically speaking, this is a good thing – clowns could be a force for unity! Instead of fighting with your fellow man (or lady), we can all rally around the universal hatred for clowns. Isreal! Palestine! Are we really so different? Unite – and fuck clowns! Well, don’t like Fuck clowns, but you know: Fuck clowns!
Plumbers too. I mean why would you choose to be a plumber. Even for the money. Ew.
And what about mimes? Mimes are like clowns but with almost all of their functions retarded in someway. Most notably: brain function.
I was once in an “inspirational” seminar for “work” about following your dreams, hard work and related bullshit, led by someone who had studied under the tutelage of Marcel Marceau. Now, if there is anything worse than watching a mime for two hours, it is listening to a full two hour (2 Hour!) seminar describing a mime and how inspirational they are.
This is not art. This is unemployment.
The only people that should aspire to mime are librarians and teenagers. For supposedly having learnt from the best mime in the world, she had no idea when to shut up. Obviously the skills gleaned were paying off in her new role as the exact opposite of a mime: public speaking. Granted it’s not as if she was exceptional at that either.
At least plumbers serve a purpose. Sometimes a very important one.
For example, who are you going to call when your big blue afro, comical squirting flower, red nose, hopes, dreams and dignity get lodged midflush in the toilet of your bachelor apartment in downtown crack-ville, USA?
Probably not a mime.
Canada’s Tornado Alley
Posted by Admin | Filed under Posts
Fyi it’s Red Deer.
At least according to some guy as quoted in the Red Deer Advocate regarding the funnel cloud sighting in Red Deer on Saturday:
“I do take it seriously. We live in tornado alley of Canada,”
Considering that Tornado Alley, the real one, the only one, sees about 450 tornadoes a year, and Alberta, as a whole, sees 15 per year. I’m not sure Red Deer exactly measures up. Not only that, the guy was quoted when it was just a funnel cloud. It wasn’t even a Tornado yet.
If anything they should call it the Not Quite Realized Dreams Alley.
Which really sums the place up quite nice.